This week something happened. I had gotten our evening tickets at the cinema when this rabid attendant started berating me. His accent sounded familiar. I registered that he was the only one manning the counter. With his rant, I couldn’t get a word in. Then he started becoming really aggro, jabbing his finger at my chest, bellowing at me as though I was at the other end of a football field. I tried to make him stop, but that’s when he grabbed me in an arm lock, sending me crashing to the ground. He stood over me with that sly grin on his face. 

Too early the hero.

I got free and kicked him hard where it hurts, and he wailed in pain. The people behind us on the queue got out their phones and started filming. Soon security was there. They were brusque, asking me for my ID. Everyone there was GAWKING, I glared right back. I was staring daggers at this uncompromising white lass, who was regarding the crick in my neck, when….

I wish my life was that exciting hahaha. Let’s pretend though that this is real, that there indeed was a fight, and people started filming. After all, this is very loosely based on Topher’s week. How loose is up to your imagination, but the Bourne adaptations would be pretty close. I’ve learned a few things about my ‘experience’, and detail them as follows:

1. Event cinemas is understaffed 
Yes it was a weeknight but one person at the counter? Come on; this is the CBD, man. One devil for everyone is gonna make problems. They’ll get stressed; they’ll get aggro, they’ll have the town for lunch. People these days don’t want the cine experience; they’re spoiled for choice. Netflix is here, so is Chromecast and Telstra TV. We’re not even mentioning the rest, which may only require an internet connection and no silly subscription fees. Unfortunately, some of us still remain loyal to the big screen, and we expect that loyalty to be rewarded.

2. The cinemas in the city are unclean
It’s no secret that their flagship cinemas right at the heart of the city, is filthy. One look at what other peeps say is enough. The seats smelled like urine last time, and I read the same thing online days later. I thought their vmax cinemas are better than the standard ones, which are downright yucky. Wrong! They’re clearly losing money. Next!

3. Dr strange is passable

The movie per se becomes an afterthought. It’s much like being a different person. No matter what stinking job you have, or how many Hugo Boss frames or other designer items you have in your wardrobe, it cannot mask the stench of a hypocrite.

To many, the movie might be very good. But how can it be good for me when the seats stink of piss? The movie reminds me of a few other features. Firstly, there’s the Lego movie. It’s about an apprentice and his master, a coming of age tale where the disciple’s baby steps provide the laughs. Second, it has shades of Inception. You could see it in the manipulation of time-space and the rearrangement of imagery on the screen. Third, the film reminds me of Jumper, where the players switch from one locale to another by virtue of their magic. Fourth, the movie is Deadpool-esque. The main character suffers severe physical injuries that ultimately makes him decide to become a superhero. They likewise have old flames that both take for granted. 

Marvel movies seldom disappoint, but sometimes you cannot remove a cinematic experience from the viewing itself. I would hope for a better cinema next time (and better staff). If that involves having to travel farther, then so be it. Hasta la vista, Jorge Street!