The North Korean Conundrum

We watch with bated breath for the next episode. Whatever happens, we’re doomed. On the blue corner, a hulking US President with plummeting approval ratings. His mere temperament is being lampooned each week on SNL (Saturday Night Live). On the red corner, a gung-ho challenger with the baggiest pants, and a wacky hairdo to boot. He has nothing to lose.

No different

I remember back when the dude’s father passed away. I asked an acquaintance if he thought junior would be more…tolerable, especially since he studied in Europe. ‘I think he’s just the same,’ he answered. Another time, I asked my colleague about what he thought of Kim’s nuclear threats. ‘It never happens,’ he said. ‘Never happens,’ he added as if to validate himself.

But as the blows are traded, there’s a sense that this fight is not all empty talk. Like Pacquaio-Mayweather, it might just happen. In any case, we are the only losers. Korea might be a bit farther than the Bay of Pigs in Cuba, but every American should stock up their bomb shelters. If it’s closer to your backyard, as those Americans residing in Guam, you cannot ignore the crescendoing around you.

The war-less generation

Our generation cannot imagine another world war. Our parents weren’t even around when the last one was fought. We are not accustomed to endless famine, nightly bomb blasts, and living with crippling fear. The Cold War between the Soviets and the US never materialised as a direct confrontation, but the thought of one alone was enough to keep them awake at night.

While it’s time to be spooked, it’s also the time to enjoy the last laughs. Cherish every SNL episode as if it’s your last. Buy as much popcorn while tuning in. Spend hundreds copying Kim’s getup, wacky haircut and all. Heck, even pledge your spare change to building that darn wall. Remember this: the laughter comes before the fall.

If you think it’s all fun and games, then think again. Remember the guy? All he did was to rip posters of junior. All he did wrong was being an American. They made him suffer, torturing him; it’s all in the news. After they were through with him, he expired; couldn’t even last a week back home.

Alarming the neighbours

There’s also those missile tests, which should alarm the neighbours. Testing rockets in the middle of the night? Hoy! It’s time to sleep, junior! Don’t even mention those tacky parades. You know, the marching battalions, as seamless as robots, and people art work. This has been a staple of North Korean pride, and an eyesore for everybody else. My, what have we gotten ourselves into?

What one does, the other does better. When Pres. Trump and his UN allies made sanctions against the North, Kim let it slip that they will counter with ‘physical action’. We are witnessing one knockdown blow after another. The flurry of punches are electric. Neither is backing down. The crowd is going nuts, and it’s just the first round.

This is entertainment, ladies and gentlemen. Watch and learn.

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