What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?

Reading lips is one skill that could come in handy. Imagine that. Not only could you communicate; you could interface with almost anyone, including the mute. Auslan, our version of sign language, is not getting easier. Being able to decipher unspoken language would almost feel like evincing a superpower.

Aside from the mute, lip reading would also be useful when dealing with the elderly and hard of hearing. In this case, the skill would potentially save people the cost of a hearing aid and the inconvenience of repetition. It might even get you a stint as a high powered lawyer. Likewise, you would be the star translator.

Unlike the spoken word, lip reading is a purely visual undertaking. The sound element is removed in favour of the optical. Thus, one needs superior eye-mouth coordination.

To paraphrase a popular adage: ‘In the kingdom of the interlocutor, who is king?’

‘The lip reader.’

Pip and Pat

Aside from communicating, it would also help when you watch movies, TV shows, and even live sports. I recall watching archive footage of Scottie Pippen, then of Chicago, dunking all over Pat Ewing. For the uninitiated, this was one of the nastiest facials ever. It was the 1994 playoffs and the two teams loathed each other. That year, Pippen secured the All Star Game MVP plum. Together with two first time All Stars, they powered the Jordan-less Bulls to a 55-27 record.

Anyway, while standing over the dunk bait, Pip had some choice words that the announcers could not decipher. When asked about it, Pip did not divulge his trash talk.

‘You might require a professional lip reader’, he said on camera.

I crave to know what Pippen said. It got to Ewing; he did not take it sitting down. They almost got into a scuffle before cooler heads prevailed.

Subtitles

Meanwhile, I often use subtitles when watching Netflix. This goes not only for foreign language productions but also for English media. I guess I’m used to it, and ‘old habits die hard’. Recently, I heard that this was becoming a trend among millennials. I embraced it, though, years earlier.

During these sessions, I wish I could read lips. I could just focus on the characters, rather than the dialogue.

The latter is akin to a sixth sense. Seeing is human; lip reading is divine. just as ventriloquism is a skill, so is the former. You need to be incredibly smart and perceptive to judge a lip by its cover. In his memoir, Magic Johnson revealed that Kareem Abdul-Jabbar could read lips. Thus, he’s not only a gifted cager; he’s also apparently a rare communicator.

By hook

Quick aside: I once uncorked a hook shot while playing a pickup game overseas. On my second try, my sky hook was nothin’ but net.

‘Jabbar!’

My peers were in awe.

In sports, you must boast an incredibly high IQ if you could lip read. The late Kobe Bryant spoke Catalan with Pau Gasol if they wanted to hide their cards. A smart move, I should say. Know what’s even shrewder? Being able to read lips in multiple languages. You could be the jack of all tongues, even without the heavy lifting.

Like any skill, lip reading takes practice. The more you hone it, the more hours you put into it, the better you’ll become. as they say, ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day.’

Visceral

Just as ventriloquism usually takes a long time to master, so it goes with lip reading. You can’t expect to be a neophyte for one moment and be the king of lips the next time. You have to start somewhere, and watching media is practical. Once you’ve done well with seminars, talks, and American shows, you could progress to the next stage. If you don’t get it right away, don’t fuss. Lip reading is an acquired taste and won’t work for everyone.

Lip reading doesn’t seem like the obvious choice for a secret ability. People would rather take the ability to fly, x-ray vision, or superhuman strength. I believe though that the former is more democratising. It’s also closer to my cup of tea. I’ve had a good ear since I was a kid, so this seems like the next logical step. Some folks would say that lip reading doesn’t seem too inexplicable a skill. That suits me, as I do not want to stretch the boundaries of reality.

Lip reading is not just a physical or nonverbal mechanism. It’s an emotional one as well. By reading lips, you empathise with your fellow speaker. Sometimes, your subject has limitations, whether fleeting or less temporal. By reading their lips, you understand their delimitations and flaws. They expend less energy and you carry the conversation just like any old one. An exchange like this would require patience. The more understanding you are, the better.

The moral of the story: ‘Quitters never win and winners never quit’.