Which animal would you compare yourself to and why?

This question is not as straightforward as you might think. Homo sapiens are a proud species. We would prefer not to be demoted to our lesser brethren. We are the planet’s apex predators. We have dominion over the birds and the seas, the sea urchins and the iguanas. We could tame lions and train primates. We can domesticate canines, tackle sharks, and breed puppies. We use cowhide for leather goods. We consume prawns and roast lamb. We contend with urban sprawl and snorkel in the open sea. We have transformed from gung-go caveman to dining in Michelin starred restaurants. In a matter of Millenia, we have gone from grunting wanderers to iPhone users. We have even made our way to the moon. We are the ecosystem’s most critical beings and we will not relinquish that title. By the way, an old Nike ad inspired this week’s heading. The ad was endorsing England’s Wayne Rooney for the 2010 FIFA World Cup.

Good Stewards

The aforementioned impressive resume might lead you to believe that humans are good stewards of the land. While I can forgive you for assuming so, one needs to look at two words: global warming. In recent decades, overpopulation, pollution, and deforestation have all taken its toll. Many moons ago, in our high school yearbook, my mentor wrote that ‘We are indeed good steward’s of God’s creation!’ This was superimposed over a dreary background. Ergo, our latest track record wouldn’t win any Nobel Prizes.

Kangaroos and koalas

Going back to the query, I would like to compare myself to the lovely kangaroo. The latter is an iconic Aussie symbol. Thus, it trumps the koala as a national emblem. We see kangaroos in Aussie passports, on national teams, in state emblems, even on our national carrier. Why, you might ask.

The cute and cuddly koala would seem like a no-brainer over the roo. I read in a guidebook that the latter is a bit more industrious than the former. The cutie koala seems stoned after bingeing on eucalyptus leaves. Meanwhile, the heady roo jumps around to feed its joey. The roo covers a lot of ground while the koala sleeps for most of the time. As a result, the roo is low maintenance compared to its furry compatriot. Like myself, roos have close family ties.

The roo is not endangered, unlike the koala. Their meat is even made into sausages and fillets. Recent news has shown how construction projects has been decimating their habitat.In my lifetime, the latter’s habitat has always been under threat.

Roos tend to favour open rural spaces. There have been isolated cases of them finding their way to others’ properties. They have close ties, as seen in the female’s joey, which lives in her pouch. I beheld a wallaby (a koala cousin) in Hobart. I fed the quaint creature and patted it. At first glance, they seemed well-behaved. The national animal has even made its way to the movies. They are portrayed as smart, tough, and wily.

Active Oz

Aussies like to be lauded as active. Sport is a big part of our culture. Hence, the venerable roo is the apotheosis of everything Aussie. We would leave the koala for fun and games. When it comes to physicality and resilience, the roo is our first option. We are lucky to have them as our symbol.

Filo animals

In case you’re wondering, the Philippine eagle banners my other country. The large bird feeds on monkeys. When I grew up, it was on the one peso coin. The eagle is one of the world’s largest. The bird is also critically endangered as a result of increasing urbanisation. These days, they can only be found on four regions: eastern Luzon, Samar, Leyte, and Mindanao.

Thankfully, they did not tap the services of the tarsier. One of the smallest primates, the creature has black skin and large curious eyes. The tarsier is not native to the Philippines. Other southeast Asian nations likewise houses this critter. One of my Facebook friends was called ‘Tarsier’ due to his big orbs. His name even rhymed with the critter’s. These days, he goes by Beda. Fair enough.

Anti-tiger

One creature I don’t want to be is a tiger. They are often angry and they pounce on freebies. They also consume a lot of red meat and they wouldn’t say no to a bag of chips. They are fast learners, which greatly improves their chances of removing their prey’s heads. They could be vicious but generally don’t bear grudges. They have a tendency to growl. The tiger’s temper is well-documented. When they feel threatened, they respect no one, not even their owners. See also: Las Vegas tiger bites trainer; Tiger King. Like koalas, they are endangered. Some, like the Tasmanian tiger, has been extinct for generations. Unlike roos or koalas, they could be much more feral.

The right move

We are drawn to the magnanimous and charismatic. Though we could be unpredictable, we go for the gentle. We avoid koalas since they’re couch potatoes. We shun the tigers and their fiery temperament. Picking the roo is playing it safe. Ultimately, I stand with the majority: I’ll make the prudent move.