What’s your favorite word?

At the moment, the phrase ‘conked out’ represents my favourite English words. I first encountered it in Stephen King’s 2019 novel, The Institute. The expression may mean a) asleep b) passed out or c) silenced. The phrase’s humour resonates with me. It brings back memories of anime, where a character would have beach balls in their eyes. I have since utilised the expression heavily in my own writing. A few of my stories bear these words. Ditto my blog posts. Having read some of King’s work, he’s a master wordsmith. He has the uncanny ability to find Le mot juste (the right word). His so-called veteran smarts are discernible in every one of his manuscripts.

In case you’re wondering, ‘bonked’ is the runner-up. I’ll leave it to you to check the definition. Using context clues, M.A., a character in my fiction, declares, ‘Elmo was the guy who bonked Lupe.’

Banal

My class tutor at uni also had a favourite word: ‘banal’. Whenever he couldn’t think of a better word, he’d say ‘That’s so banal’.

To be honest, that guy was universally regarded as a dickhead.

‘I love it when he scrunches his eyebrows’, Scoot said. ‘It gives the impression that he’s got a brain somehow.’

In his class, I met Joe U, a breakdancer who worked at Coles. We became friends, though we never hung outside of uni. To be honest, he was a much better person than that four-eyed train wreck. He is also Filo like yours truly. Even Joe noticed that the guy had a favourite word.

After class, we were waiting for the train. Only twice did I bump into him at the station. I removed my earphones.

‘What’s his favourite word?’

‘Banal’, I replied.

Joe wasn’t a morning person and wouldn’t touch kebabs. We would always sit together during lectures, even though I found these sessions rather boring. He told me that he’s from a well-off family in Dumaguete. He’s one of the friends I mentioned in my memoir. Last I heard, he did a second degree at our Alma mater, works in finance, and had gotten hitched.

Senior high

In senior year, I had a female classmate. Flamboyant was her favourite word. In the off-chance that she heard it, this would light her fire. Soon, everyone connected the dots. I impressed her very much, though she wasn’t my type. A varsity bloke once said that she looked like a real chick…when she was facing away. She was also the batch’s gossip queen. Once joking that she desired my mind, she also wanted the inside scoop on everyone.

That year, I had two favourite words: juxtapose and paradigm shift. I learned both from my mentor, then known as Bro Ed.

Meanwhile, in first year, our English teacher and class adviser introduced the word chivalry to us. Every time one of the girls needed a seat, they’ll say ‘chivalry’. It became their favourite.

Sometimes, being a fine gentleman could backfire. I had a classmate, a consistent honour student. That year, she borrowed a ruler and I gave her my best one. When I asked for it, she did not return it and, ages later, left me with a cheap one on my table. I trusted that, as a high achiever, she knew what is right and wrong. She’s now in Australia. Hopefully, she’s stopped STEALING things.

‘Spoiled ballot’

The following is an excerpt from my memoir:

Moving on, at the back end of third year, my classmates ran for student council. They were mostly honour students who wanted to bump up their general average by serving the student body. During the tallying of ballots in my section, Miss Maleta (our class adviser) announced, “From President to Governor, nothing.”

There were gasps among my peers.

‘Grabe!’ Someone exclaimed: Holy cow!

‘Pungal!’ BJoy declared: Damn.

They were all flabbergasted. How could anyone waste their vote like that? I was surprised that nobody laughed out loud.

They took their cries to our other adviser, Miss Yayo. When Meyers broached the subject, the former said that such things happen during election. When pressed, Miss Yayo told us that perhaps the candidates didn’t meet the voter’s criteria. She admitted that this instance is called a “spoiled ballot”.

Freya, who sat behind me, was disbelieving. She had heard about it for the first time. A few days later, my nemesis James asked me if I authored said ballot.

“No,” I answered too quickly.

Many moons after the fact, I wish to come clean. I was the renegade who refused to exercise my right to suffrage for one election. To this day, I am surprised that my classmates have no idea as to the culprit. I managed to keep my reaction in check. While Yayo was explaining, I couldn’t look straight at her. I feared that I would blow my cover. When Maleta revealed the ballot, I just tried to act as shocked as everyone else. As per Yayo, their policies did not float my boat. Gauging by the room’s shock level, this was their first such encounter. I did not understand all the brouhaha. As they said, “It’s a free country.”

In Australia, this practice is more widespread and is commonly referred to as a “donkey vote.” During the 2010 Federal Election, I witnessed it firsthand as the public weighed the lesser of two evils. While I stood in line, one older guy took a ballot, folded it, and immediately deposited it into the drop box. Meanwhile, the former Labor leader announced that he would do the same and urged others to follow his lead. My friend chuckled at this but acknowledged that he was tempted to do likewise. He ended up voting for Labor. Prior to his decision, he told me that “I don’t want to waste my vote.”

Fair enough.

Speaking of donkey votes, a sequel was released this morning. Being Aussie, I had to vote for the local council elections. Like Tatang, I decided not to support any party today. Why? There hasn’t been genuine change. People come and go but it’s only the faces that shift. There is no considerable progress, at least in the facet that matters to me. In short, personally, these parties have done nothing of consequence. They’re all the same, and it’s disgraceful. Until they finally get their act together, I don’t intend to vote for Labor or Liberal or the Greens or the bonk party.

‘Sharing is caring’

We are largely who we read. We take the best bits from the finest authors. Once we’ve noticed these terms, they become part of our arsenal. If a phrase works, we employ it to great effect. For instance, ‘see also’ from Chuck Palahniuk. ‘Main Street’ from John Grisham. ‘If you wanna know the truth’ by J.D. Salinger. ‘And so it goes’ by Kurt Vonnegut. ‘I’m not thinking anything’ by Michael Connelly. You get the drill.

At the same time, there are turns of phrase that are better buried. ‘As we all know’ was my classmate’s favourite. I hope he’s outgrown that. My erstwhile gym teacher, Miss Puma, should retire ‘basketball ball’. I’ve discussed these and more at length in Topher Wins, my self-help/memoir.

Reading doesn’t mean failing to filter. You must take the good and discard the bad expressions. Like the classroom, being an autodidact is a continuous process. While learning something new, assessing this info is the best practice.