If you got to live inside a video game world, which one would you choose?

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Note: Only this excerpt’s short last section made my published debut novel’s final draft. I replaced chapter 13 with Dexter Ronaldo.

‘The undead did not love, but they remembered love with a savage loyalty.’

-Kim Harrison, author

I played this first shooter iPad zombie game. Instead of reading books, I found a friend in the intriguing app. NZ (pronounced en-zed) Undead was a breath of fresh air.  Blowing heads off is the perfect pastime.

Set in Auckland, perhaps the world’s most isolated city. Three hours from Sydney, no major cities are close by.

Undead brought back memories. Years ago, I visited familiar locations. The mall, Sylvia Park, reminded me of my full grain leather messenger. I bought that from their Strandbags. I took home this cute flower wallet for mum. Stardome planetarium was perfect with the splendid night sky. Auckland art gallery showcased amazing portraits. Coromandel, two hours from Auckland, was stunning and featured in Narnia. Auckland zoo, smaller than Taronga, offered a huge array of animals. I remember giraffes, red pandas, kiwis, and emus.

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You must familiarise with the store and picking weapons. You are provided with a free stage one handgun and baseball bat. The MP5 navy, reasonable, is beyond your meagre budget. The grenade and Rotorua charge are available but unattainable. The latter, a small earthquake, grounds brain eaters.

Common sense makes the navy the best available option…in the next round. The background music, ‘How Bizarre’, is quintessentially Kiwi.

Michael Jackson’s ‘Beat It’ reminded me of an old karate movie with Daniel-san and Mr Miyagi. Shooting zombies plays the eerie Eyes Wide Shut score. Mandark will be proud.

The Done Ring is by far the most prized weapon. Owning this doozy instantly clears a swarm of underfed zombies. The rest gawk like weirdos. In plot mode, the final battle is at the Beehive, the nation’s parliament.

The game opened with stage one: ‘The return of the comeback.’

By far the easiest, I came in with a handgun and bat. The Brain Map allowed you to survey the walkers. $20 per head adds up. The twilit zone counts your precise hits. The head zip  tallies your murders within a brief timeframe. More murders = more money.

The trick is terminating the closest buggers. Be vigilant.

‘Never freeze’.

Use weapons and ammo wisely.  Don’t get caught with a bat to swat away limbs. Or with all your weapons recharging.

The stages got more difficult. Level two, ‘Stayin Alive’ was straightforward. It was set in the zoo. Aside from regular walkers, occasional runners showed up. They’re easy to spot from a distance. Nothing beats terminating them while dashing toward you. In addition, I bought the MP5 Navy by then.

The first six were painless, until the level seven roadblock. Set both in and outside of the planetarium, the sixth stage had far more brain eaters. I survived the first three with two guns, the bat, and Rotorua quake. By the fourth stanza, I upgraded my mp5 to stage three. Gotta get rid of fat coppers.

The fifth iteration is cruisier. The Mind Slayer kills the tall troll zombie. I managed the rest of the buffoons.

Clearing the sixth stanza, the seventh level truly tests you. It’s called ‘Please, the pooches’.

Adjacent to Sylvia park, smaller rabid dogs come at you. Larger cow-like hounds appear. Use heavy weaponry like rail gun and grenades. Time them perfectly or they’ll have you for dinner. You need the quake. Employ it near the end. Doing so too early would kill you. The little hounds invade from all directions at the 1:20 mark. You must ‘Save the best for last’.

I was stuck on this stage. After every setback, I  better understood the pooches. The most suitable weapons. Mobilising resources. Many fruitless attempts later, my chances were boosted. Twas akin to Groundhog Day. Eventually, you’ll work it out and ‘move Australia forward.’

Using up most of your health, you can recover by upgrading your health kit. You should also increase your optimal strength.

The next thirteen levels are simple. The leper sighing introduces annoying zombies. Flying round and jumping in the air, their eyes bloodshot. Two well-placed shots and game over. The issue is when there are too many. 

The level is called ‘Lord of the Skies’.

Seconds after the timer starts, they disembark from a grounded jet off Auckland airport. They come in waves. The onslaught is incredible. You’ll be swamped before you could say, ‘Kia ora’. The Mind Slayer kills a bunch with one tap.

Level nineteen is where you’ll lose the most health. Titled ‘The Running Men’ runners come at you from every direction. They’re faster than regular, copper, or leper zombies. They operate in the light, meaning no torch. Worth seventy dollars a head, over thrice as regular zombies. Half the price of a troll’s, which is $160.

‘The Big Boss’ is level seventeen. Here you meet trolls and Fat Boys. The rail gun, grenade, quake, and Mind Slayer are appropriate. While seemingly tough, it’s child’s play compared to ‘The Running Men.’

By far the most challenging is the final one, ‘To Infinity’. Here you get the lot: coppers, trolls, runners, regulars, canines, lepers, and fat boys. Good luck.

No end in sight, they come in droves. Killing a few, more appear. Like Doomsday, your weapons could only so much. Even a mini-gun is no match. Like ‘The Walking Dead’ on steroids. Your worst nightmare brought to life.

So far, I haven’t figured this out. Hopefully, like the seventh stanza, I’ll find a way.

At the end of your run are vital stats. Your longest twilit zone and highest head zip. It also lists your mode time. Your total up time before walkers got you. I hover at around 34.1 minutes.

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The visuals drew me, as did the gameplay and locations. Realistic shot volleys and exploding heads. An offline game, NZ wouldn’t break the bank. Reviewers held that it’s perfect flight entertainment. Others added how it’s pure nostalgia.

As mentioned, weapon choice is paramount. For a while, I wrongly utilised the handgun as my secondary shooter. Once you have enough, upgrade to the M16 pronto. High damage, one shot sends regular zombies to kingdom come. Coppers down after two hits. Ditto lepers. You’ll fare better compared to the measly handgun.

The M16 has moderate ammo and a long reload time. Between rifles, it’s not in the same league as the sniper. The latter offers one-shot kills for bigger zombies. However, the M16 carries more bullets. In gameplay, the audio is addictive, though exaggerated.

Better than the Mp5. The handgun will never be that cool.

More upgrades mean more bullets. Levelled up, you’ll own a fully automatic rifle.

However, flashy as the M16 is, my favourite is the Gollum Shield. Named after Smiggle in Lord of the Rings, the Gollum gives a massive hunched back. This saves you from enemy missiles that would’ve sunk a thousand battleships.

I wanted to annihilate every zombie. Regular walkers. Big fat coppers. Murderous pooches. Detestable runners. Green vanishers. Tall trolls. Red-eyed dodos. Flying lepers. Twitching bots. Fugly deep fakes. Orc-like ambushers.

When the level is too dark you can’t use the Mind Map. Activate the Blue Light before disembarking from the fictional metro.

The message on the train ceiling reads, ‘At night travel near the guard compartment indicated by the blue light.’

This has been edited: ‘At night, rave near the guard’s compartment naked with a blue light.’

Another train car message reads, ‘The bend is nigh.’

I fully upgrade my blue light to get maximum visibility before recharging. Once the level goes dark, I unleash the quake. That way, I pinpoint the fallen before they get too close.

The blue light doesn’t cost much. One of the best in-game investments.

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Whether playing casually or hooked on hounds, Undead offers an escape from the humdrum. Once locked in, you evade the present – even for a bit. Undead gives you a license to play and forget your worries.

I remember Jepoy eliminating buggers. We loved Freestyle, the online multiplayer b-ball game. I was  far better.

We went upstairs, fetching class textbooks. One shot to the head instantly kills our classmate Tano.

‘How long will it take?’

‘.001 seconds,’ he retorted. ‘You’ll just see his head explode like a watermelon.’

‘Serves him. He has very large fingers. They won’t save his head.’

Another time, we talked about wrestling.

‘His real name is the underwear taker.’

With his sniping skills, he would be a good sidekick in shooting white walkers.

He might even clear level seven faster than my own efforts.