When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I’ll tell you want I didn’t wanna be. As a five year old, just as now, I never entertained being a wino.

After Superbad

Rarely, I bought beers from my local bottler

Attached to the supermarket convenient as a butler

Had no issues until a big guy asked for ID

Appearing under 25, this is SOP

He lingered on my photo card a smile escaped from his face

‘We’re neighbours’, he said, ‘I pass by your place’

His wife, white, and he was Nepalese

Heavyset in all black clothing they ‘never freeze’

No fake ID like Superbad

Of legal age and shrewd mind, brod

I’m no drinker

A phase didn’t matter

Seven years without a sip

Got tape on my lip

My mate and I toured Cascade Brewery in Hobart

That Sunday, the plant was a quiet Mozart

Been there for two centuries

Almost as old as Port Arthur say cheese!

During State of Origin we downed Victoria Bitter

Backed the New South Blues a real thirst buster

Alcohol ain’t healthy

Keep out the schooners be wealthy

My memories the odd pint

Move on and continue your jaunt.