If you could switch lives with a famous person for a week, who would it be and why?
Being Dexter the polymath would be nice. He’s The Offspring’s lead vocalist. A licensed pilot. A successful entrepreneur. A doctor in molecular biology. Of course, there are younger and more decorated rock stars. They don’t have Dexter’s mad skills. In case you’re wondering, he did not inspire my new novel’s protagonist.
Snubbed
Given, his band has never been Grammy-nominated. They are commercially successful though.
His bestselling sauce is Gringo Bandido. A private pilot, he’s logged the hours. He finished his PhD in May 2017.
Well rounded
As a writer, I’m quite versatile. I’ve written in stories, memoir self help, poetry, a novel, and essays. Plus 500 blog posts. That shows consistency and commitment.
Many people dream of writing books. Few actually finish them. Those who ship their work is less than 1 percent.
Most writers specialise in one genre. I’ve navigated five. I would’ve included a play but let’s face it. No one reads them. I like writing poetry but, like plays, readership is the real battle.
Maybe, in time, my material will be worth more. My ideas, more valuable. The past five years, I’ve been journalling. Who knows? Maybe mundane things like changing my PJ’s and the battery percentages of my MBA m4 would be worth galleons later on. For the past three years, I’ve filled three A5 notebooks.
Kafka convert
Franz Kafka was interesting. I’ve been comparing myself to him. Though a great writer, he had little confidence in his authorial abilities. He wrote a lot, publishing little. The Metamorphosis sold an estimated 800 copies. We even look alike, though he wrote in German. I write in English and Filipino.
He destroyed 90 percent of his work. He told his friend, Max Brod, to burn his final manuscripts. His remaining novels were unfinished. A lack of talent was never his weakness. His lifelong pal defied his wishes and the rest is history.
These days, publishing has less barriers. I can write, edit, and proofread my works. All done in-house. Then outsource the designing and printing. Voila!
If it’s a matter of completion, I’m ahead of Kafka. Looking at Holland, I can see him writing a 300 page nonfiction book or even my 218p satirical romance novel. He has the drive.
Lead vocalist
I covet Holland’s rock star vibe. I wish I could compose songs and cause mosh pits. I want to sell records and climb up the charts. I want to be featured on YouTube and create memories for a generation of music lovers.
In high school, I also dreamt of being a pilot. I realise now I don’t have to be a commercial pilot. A licensed recreational pilot would suit me. It’s still tough and perilous. You can’t fly a plane without being daring.
He has a PhD. If he can write a biology thesis, he can write books. The same applies to me. If I can ship four books (and counting), then finishing a PhD dissertation wouldn’t pose a problem. I’ve written long academic papers before that got stellar marks. I’ve penned an honours thesis.
The reverse doctor
I’ve done it in reverse. Instead of attaining a doctorate, I’ve self-published books. A PhD thesis is 200-300 pages. With four books totalling 694 pages, that’s three PhD dissertations.
I adore Dexter’s rock star persona and intellectual brilliance. However, his commercial success is just as important. Whether as vocalist or entrepreneur, he’s consistently garnered commercial validation.
Dexter for a turn
A week is more than enough to be Dexter. As mentioned, he even sounds like my main character, Dexter Remolar. My new satirical novel, Let It Be, is out now.
